I fear this site is a dying desire to stay active in the online world.
I have failed miserably with the upkeep of this site and I apologize to the readers as I have let it slip into the wastelands of the interwebs. I have great desire to write more frequently, not too difficult considering my last post was in July 2011, but I keep losing myself in other things. I have been given a number of additional assignments this year at school that have kept me busier than I would like to be. Add to that the fact I am working towards a Master's degree (set for completion Summer 2012) and even planning to continue on for an Administrative endorsement either Fall 2012 or Spring 2013. I may have lost my mind! Plus I am still a husband, father and son and I am what so many call busy.
With all this "busy" floating in my head, I still don't understand why I can't find time to do the things I really want to do, writing on this site being one. Every one of us has the same number of hours in a day and yet many of you out there find the time to keep posting to your sites on a regular basis, so what am I doing wrong? I think my main problem lies in the fact that I suffer from a condition known as "procrastination" mixed heavily with another condition known as "easily distracted." These two "conditions" don't mix well and have left me with more problems than I care to remember. When I should be working on homework, like right now for instance, my mind wants to be doing anything BUT homework and that leads to the "easily distracted" thing where I mess around online doing good things, just not the best things for that moment. At least I am using these moments to write here instead of mess around online watching YouTube videos or reading other people's great sites.
I think the other thing that gets in the way of my writing here is not being able to decide what kind of a person I want to be; early bird or night owl. For as long as I can remember I have been the quintessential night owl even to the point of pulling all-nighters quite regularly, usually due to the above "conditions" spoken of earlier. Being a night owl was only increased when I was involved in a couple of local bands which required playing shows at night followed by the "requisite" post-show meal that typically started around 11:00pm or later. With all the late nights I assumed my body was made for the night and totally detested the early hours of the day. I felt very vampire-esque; that was back when being a vampire was tough, back before the Twilight Saga ruined it! Then I started to get a little older (I'm still under 30 FYI) and it wasn't so easy to stay up half the night and then function properly as a teacher the next day. I realized I needed to start going to bed earlier and I have even considered joining the ranks of the early birds, but I just can't bring myself to it. As hard as I have tried, I can't seem to change my internal clock to recognize that it's okay to go to sleep before midnight.
My ideal schedule would be as follows:
5:30am - Wake up, read and write online
6:30am - Exercise (I would love to become a runner as well)
7:30am - Prepare for the day
8:00am - Leave for school
5:30pm - Return home
5:45pm - Family time (Dinner, play with kid(s), etc.)
8:00pm - Spouse time
9:30pm - Prepare for bed
10:00pm - Sleep
Doesn't that schedule seem great? I would love for that to be my schedule, but my actual schedule is more like the following:
8:00am - Wake up and rush to get ready for the day
8:30am - Leave for school
6:00pm - Return home
6:15pm - Family time (Rushed dinner, and getting the kid(s) ready for bed)
7:30pm - Spouse time (if any at all)
8:00pm - Homework and next day prep
12:00-2:00am - Prepare for bed and sleep
The first schedule sounds so much better and yet, I am struggling to allow myself to change who I currently am in order to become who I want to be. Am I cursed to live in this lifestyle without a chance of change? I'll be sure to keep you updated as I progress, but what are your thoughts and/or suggestions? I would love to hear them! I'm hoping to have this be the start of a writing renaissance and bring this site back from the dead.